Saturday, August 19, 2006

elliot-waddya reckon?..

how to save the airlines..

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place. Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell - the attendants have gotten old and haggard-looking. They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss? The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a "party atmosphere" going in the cabin.

And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. Hell, I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working and have them kick back 20% of the tips.

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues. This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right - a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why the hell didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Bill Clinton


Blogger Elliot said...

Bill - you are a bloody genious.
You are my new hero.
I'd vote for you in a second.
Go Bill, go!

ps - did you get my email?

5:43 PM  
Blogger mr-dunn* said...

yup-i'll try and give you a ring later tonight-got to scooot-

1:49 AM  
Blogger MickFred said...

yeah, why not... and free peanuts

7:00 AM  
Blogger Elliot said...

No urgency mate.
I'm heading off for a week.
I'll pester you again on my return....

1:56 PM  
Blogger Adriaan said...


I once flew on a flying machine, and as coincidences would have it, I did a strip show for tips as well!
Everyone extended their thumb to me. I didn't yet know at the time that this is an international sign of acceptance, rather than a plea for sitting down.


5:50 AM  
Blogger alberto mielgo said...


6:11 PM  
Blogger RoboTaeKwon-Z said...

Why didn't I think of that? It's inspired thinking! Even the fucking feminists and moral majority would clam up after hearing your arguments!

8:37 AM  
Blogger UM said...

Make sure no-one knows where you live. Patent the idea, open up your own air-line and make sure you don't hire strippers that work in the name of Allah.

8:56 AM  
Blogger mr-dunn* said...

i am sure you'd be the first to be joining the 'have'nt quite got off the end of the runway' club.....ho!

2:26 AM  
Blogger the doodlers said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7:58 AM  

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